Am sure I am not the only one that reflects on what happened to them in the year that has gone by.
This year had been a turning point in my walk with Christ. I've learned that I am a 'me' person. Yeah yeah, funny as it may seem. Me people are the last to know they are 'me' people. I also found out who I was in Christ and who I really was. Some people go all there lives trying to be someone else. Someone everyone expects them to be and looses the real person that God created. I had done that. I was so frustrated and confused for the first 5 months of the year that I didn't want to do anything. I had an attitude with my pastors, the head of the band, you name it I was a mess. My eyes were open when I bought a book "Managing your Emotions" By Joyce Meyer. Honestly felt like I was going crazy in those months until I read this book. Explained what I was going though and why. What triggered the things I had done and how to just forgive myself.
I think it is harder to forgive yourself then others. You look at yourself everyday. It was getting to the point where I just wanted to not go anywhere.
BUT that is all changed. Yes I do get a little down or confused but that doesn't hold me down.
Now this month I was laid off from work. With GM laying off and shutting down their plants temporarily I do not know when I will be called back. Next week I am going to look for work else where. I don't like being on unemployment. Mainly because I can not do anything lmol. All money goes towards bills.
Am thankful that my brother allows me to stay with him. This Christmas I couldn't buy any gifts for anyone. I felt bad but it is what it is. But I was SO so blesssed this year. My brothers three boys when and had their picture taken. And I got a beautiful picture of the three of them. (fighting tears) I watched these three young men grow up. I tried to encourage them to do their
best. They are three good boys. My brother also helped my pay my car and cell phone (now I will pay the guy back when the Income taxes get here) He also got me my favorite bath soaps and a gas card. (which helps me out so I don't have to worry about getting gas) My nephew gave me a down comforter. I almost cried. It is so soft and warm and beautiful shade of light green.
I got to visit some of my family members. It was good to see my cousins again. And my aunts and uncle. Also had the usual get-together at my older brothers house. It was so fun. His youngest boy brought his WII down. And we played Rock Band lmol. And a few other games. HAD A BLAST. We play games and just veg out all night.
So all around - it has been a good year. I give God all the glory in this. I know what I would of been like if I didn't have His love. I would of been dead. I used to be quite suicidal. I don't think I would of made it after my mom's death. So I am alive today because of Jesus.
Weather you believe me or not, doesn't matter. I just know where I was when He knocked.
Happy New Years everyone. May next year bright you GREAT joy and many blessings.
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